Is it ME?

" Is it me, or do we all seem to be carrying around a bag full of shame these days? From juggling the roles of mothers, daughters, grandmothers, wives, and professionals, it's like we're all in a never-ending game of 'Shame Tetris'. – who has the energy for all of that? 

For the longest time, I found it hard to be truly open about my experiences. I was held back by the fear of being judged, rejected, or letting others down. It's like I was wearing a mask to hide behind, afraid to show my real self in case it wasn't enough. But you know what? Embracing my imperfections and owning my journey, with all its highs and lows, has been a game-changer. Realizing that my story – flaws and all – is what makes me unique and authentic has lifted the weight of that fear off my shoulders. It's a liberating feeling to let go of shame and just be unapologetically me. This is what I hope for you too.

 It's time to take out that trash, toss out the shame, and strut our stuff with a little more swagger and a lot less self-flagellation. After all, life's too short for that crap – 

xoxo-Kari Lea"

 The Illusion of Having It All Together

- The pressure to conform:

 Society's expectations for perfection and the fear of being judged can have a significant impact on individuals' mental health and well-being. From a young age, people are bombarded with images of flawless beauty, successful careers, and ideal relationships through various forms of media, friends & family influence, and even religious indoctrination. This creates an unrealistic standard that many feel pressured to meet, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

The fear of being judged by others for not living up to these expectations can be paralyzing. People often go to great lengths to hide their perceived flaws and shortcomings, fearing rejection or criticism from their family, friends, and colleagues. This fear can prevent individuals from taking risks, pursuing their passions, or even seeking help when needed.

It is important for all of us to shift our focus from perfection to authenticity and self-acceptance. By promoting a culture that values individuality and celebrates imperfections, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate environment for everyone. It is okay to be flawed, to make mistakes, and to not have it all together. True strength lies in embracing our vulnerabilities and giving grace to others around us. This allows us all to become unapologetically ourselves.

- The mask we wear:

 Hiding our struggles behind a carefully constructed image is a common coping mechanism that many people use to avoid feelings of shame and judgment. In a world that often values perfection and success above all else, it can be tempting to present a flawless facade to the outside world while struggling internally. This facade can be a way to protect oneself from vulnerability and scrutiny, but ultimately it can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

By concealing our struggles and putting on a front of having it all together, we deny ourselves the opportunity for genuine connection and support. When we are not authentic about our challenges and vulnerabilities, we miss out on the chance to receive empathy, understanding, and solidarity from others who may be going through similar experiences. It is important to remember that everyone faces difficulties and setbacks at some point in their lives, and there is no shame in being honest about our struggles and seeking help when needed.

Rather than hiding behind a carefully constructed image, embracing our imperfections and being vulnerable can actually lead to deeper connections and a stronger sense of self-acceptance. When we allow ourselves to be authentic and open about our struggles, we give others permission to do the same, fostering a culture of honesty and compassion that can help us all feel less alone in our experiences.

- Recognizing the cost: 

Striving for an unattainable ideal can create a cycle of internal conflict and shame that takes a heavy toll on one's mental and emotional well-being. The relentless pursuit of perfection and the pressure to meet impossible standards set by society or media can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and never feeling "good enough." This constant comparison to an ideal that is unattainable fuels a sense of shame and unworthiness, as individuals struggle to measure up to an unrealistic and often distorted image of success or beauty.

The cost of striving for an unattainable ideal is high, as it not only erodes one's self-esteem and self-confidence but also impacts relationships, mental health, and overall happiness. The internal conflict that arises from constantly chasing an impossible standard can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sense of disconnection from oneself and others. The fear of failure and judgment further perpetuates feelings of shame and unworthiness, creating a vicious cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt that is difficult to break free from. It is essential to challenge the notion of perfection and recognize that true fulfillment and happiness come from self-acceptance, authenticity, and embracing our imperfections with compassion and kindness.

"Shame has a way of making us feel isolated, as if we're the only ones grappling with our imperfections and struggles. I’ve learned that it’s okay to own the ugly truths about myself—those moments of vulnerability and doubt that shape my journey. Acknowledging these experiences is empowering; it transforms shame into understanding. But holding onto this shame? That’s a different story. It's like hoarding a heavy weight that only drags me down. I've realized that I must let it go, allowing space for growth, healing, and self-acceptance. By sharing my struggles and embracing my truths, I find connection and freedom, proving to myself that I am more than my shame. It’s time to release the burden and redefine what it means to be whole." -Kari Lea